Monday, June 23, 2008

Just when you think you have seen everything...

I thought I had seen everything but I was dead wrong! Someone actually took the time to think about and invent POOP FREEZE! WTF!?

According to their commercial, it is for when your dog has loose stools so it is easier to pick them up. “Frost and Toss” according to their web site. Your dog now has poopsicles. So do we have to put a stick in it to pick it up?

If you order a can of Poop Freeze they also send you a handy dandy carry case. So you can hide your can so your neighbors don’t laugh at you when you are spraying. Now if you are trying to hide that you have the can, why does it have the logo on it? Did they not think of this? You can’t hide what it really is because it is called Poop Freeze. You have to be dumber than a box rocks not to figure out what it is.

Um, I have a better idea. Just let your dog poop in your neighbor’s yard. Duh!

Monday, June 9, 2008

Jell-O anyone?

Before I start this wonderful story, let me just say for the record that I love my kids. No, I really do. Times like this are when I know the reason why some animals eat their young.
Sunday mornings are for sleeping in and relaxing, right? You wake up to the sound of birds singing. In a perfect world it would be, but my world is far from perfect.

My day started instead with waking up to the sounds of my two beautiful demon spawn children fighting. Since this is pretty regular at my house I thought nothing of it. I just figured after my first cup of coffee I could fix whatever problem there was.

In my kitchen were my two children mixing what looked like yellow water in the biggest GLASS bowl I own (over 2 qrts). They were fighting over who got the wooden spoon to stir this yellow goop. Once they saw me the fighting stopped. Well, for about 5 seconds that is.

"What the hell are you doing?" I ask (remember I haven't had my coffee yet)

"We are making Jell-O mom." My son answers like I should know. Alrighty.

I make it to the coffee machine and press the on button. I turn around and see that they are adding ice cubes. Now I know that this so called Jell-O is not going to work so I just walk away and let the dogs out since no one else thought of it!

I come back in the kitchen to wait for the coffee to finish. According to the kids the Jell-O is ready to go into the fridge. Can anyone see where this is going?? You got it. My son opens the fridge door, which is a smart move by the way, and picks up the glass bowl to walk to the fridge. He gets to the front of the fridge and goes to lift it to a rack. This move of course makes the Jell-O pour over the side of the bowl onto the front of him. It also pours over the shelves of the fridge and onto the floor. Did I mention that there was a lake of Jell-O on the counter too?

"Sorry mom." He says with that look because he knows that he did really really bad.

He backs up and then tries AGAIN! Yup, the same thing happens. This I guess registers and he takes the bowl back to the counter. Smart move there buddy.

I am still at the counter still waiting for my coffee. I guess it didn't dawnon me or I just didn't care because I took a coffee cup out of the cabinet and poured myself a cup. Of course I had to walk the obstacle course which was my floor to get milk out for my coffee. Did you know that Jell-o is really slippery? Learn something new every day,huh?

On my way to the couch I yell back to my son, "You are so cleaning that up." So I sat on my couch and drank my coffee while they cleaned up the mess on the counters and the floors.
While they are cleaning the kitchen my husband calls to check up on the kids. He asks what they are doing and he probably expected the usual answer. Little did he know, huh? I just told him nothing and finished my coffee after I hung up. They didn't do a great job but they cleaned up most of it. I just went back over it later.